In Honor of National Coming Out Day, i want to tell my personal story,My name is JRS am 21 years old and i come from a Very strong Christian Family with whom i love very much and i always thought i knew who i was i mean was the kid who dance around the house to the Pointer Sisters and singing with every single Song on the tape, and also the little mermaid and beaches you name it i sang along with it and i well once i got to about age 8 i thought something was not right i mean i felt i was not fitting in with people b/c i didn't like the same things and i was still listening to the little mermaid when all my other friends were listening to like Britney Spears and other music like that and i thought oh well its not big deal i like diffrent music so what its cool well i was hidding the fact that i thought i was gay since well it i thought it totally impossible i mean it couldn't be possible at least i so i thought so i made myself believe it was NOT TRUE so i lied to self and moved on with my life. Well fast forward to middle school where i went to a school that was REALLY unfit for me i mean i enjoyed my 1st two years i mean i had good friends who i felt i could get a long with and things totally fell part my 3rd year when i was picked on all the time and made fun of for everything that i said and did it totally put me in the dark where i felt worthless and it hurt me really bad so i ended up leaving that school for personal reasons and i finally realized after writing in my jounral every day about my time at the school and how i had such a hard time there i remember thinking OH My GOSH i am GAY and am really happy but i can't tell my family about it its going to really hurt them so i can't say anything to them about it so i kept from my family and my friends for 2years from age 14 to age 16 and it was very hard for me to keep something like this from my family since well i was so upset about it and i didn't want them to be mad at me or upset with me or i feel like i let them down but i knew in time they would understand. So the fall of my 10th Grade year of high school i knew it was time for me to tell my parents and so one day i had a talk with my parents which was one of the HARDEST TALKS i ever had with my parents and well i said "mom and dad i have something to tell you am gay and so sorry i waited so long to tell you its just that i didn't want to let you down or anything and i need time to deal with it 1st before i told you" and they didn't say thing at 1st but finally my parents said We love you and we totally support you and we are happy for you and it just made me feel so happy to finally tell them, than that same day i texted my three cousins who live in RC and my older sisters and they were totally understanding and i told them that they couldn't tell anyone but little did i know that my family talks lol. and i was at one point my 11th Grade year of high school, i had made a CD for a Guy that i liked and well he broke the CD right in front of me and i was really upset and came home that nite and wrote an email stating that i the world would be better off with out me which i was wrong to say that since it was not true at all i was just angry at what had happend to me but i would have gone that far with it. Also during my years in high school there was this show that i watched called Queer as Folk that was about gay men living in Pittsburg and there was this one character that stood out to me b.c he reminded me of me in so many ways the character's name was named JT and the show was about his coming out to his parents and his friends and it was bullyed at school and well it totally hit home for me and well this show really helped me understand me a whole lot better and allowed me to be okay with who was and to not let ANYONE take way my fabulous light! and also the movie MILK helped me be okay with am too. Anyways fast forwarding a little bit to NOW i am totally okay with am and i love life and everyone in my life and SO lucky to have such a Fabulous Family and Fabulous Friends who are totally supportive of me and always on my side no matter what. and plus i had my 1st date not too long go i see that things are going to look up for me since well god is with me through all it all. and another thing my friends at Church have been totally supportive of me and i remember being SO afraid to lose them if they ever found out and my friend KL told me "i knew all long" and she was totally cool with and so was everyone eles that i know at my church who are some of the greatest human beings i know! they are VERY FABULOUS!!!!!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
My Story
In Honor of National Coming Out Day, i want to tell my personal story,My name is JRS am 21 years old and i come from a Very strong Christian Family with whom i love very much and i always thought i knew who i was i mean was the kid who dance around the house to the Pointer Sisters and singing with every single Song on the tape, and also the little mermaid and beaches you name it i sang along with it and i well once i got to about age 8 i thought something was not right i mean i felt i was not fitting in with people b/c i didn't like the same things and i was still listening to the little mermaid when all my other friends were listening to like Britney Spears and other music like that and i thought oh well its not big deal i like diffrent music so what its cool well i was hidding the fact that i thought i was gay since well it i thought it totally impossible i mean it couldn't be possible at least i so i thought so i made myself believe it was NOT TRUE so i lied to self and moved on with my life. Well fast forward to middle school where i went to a school that was REALLY unfit for me i mean i enjoyed my 1st two years i mean i had good friends who i felt i could get a long with and things totally fell part my 3rd year when i was picked on all the time and made fun of for everything that i said and did it totally put me in the dark where i felt worthless and it hurt me really bad so i ended up leaving that school for personal reasons and i finally realized after writing in my jounral every day about my time at the school and how i had such a hard time there i remember thinking OH My GOSH i am GAY and am really happy but i can't tell my family about it its going to really hurt them so i can't say anything to them about it so i kept from my family and my friends for 2years from age 14 to age 16 and it was very hard for me to keep something like this from my family since well i was so upset about it and i didn't want them to be mad at me or upset with me or i feel like i let them down but i knew in time they would understand. So the fall of my 10th Grade year of high school i knew it was time for me to tell my parents and so one day i had a talk with my parents which was one of the HARDEST TALKS i ever had with my parents and well i said "mom and dad i have something to tell you am gay and so sorry i waited so long to tell you its just that i didn't want to let you down or anything and i need time to deal with it 1st before i told you" and they didn't say thing at 1st but finally my parents said We love you and we totally support you and we are happy for you and it just made me feel so happy to finally tell them, than that same day i texted my three cousins who live in RC and my older sisters and they were totally understanding and i told them that they couldn't tell anyone but little did i know that my family talks lol. and i was at one point my 11th Grade year of high school, i had made a CD for a Guy that i liked and well he broke the CD right in front of me and i was really upset and came home that nite and wrote an email stating that i the world would be better off with out me which i was wrong to say that since it was not true at all i was just angry at what had happend to me but i would have gone that far with it. Also during my years in high school there was this show that i watched called Queer as Folk that was about gay men living in Pittsburg and there was this one character that stood out to me b.c he reminded me of me in so many ways the character's name was named JT and the show was about his coming out to his parents and his friends and it was bullyed at school and well it totally hit home for me and well this show really helped me understand me a whole lot better and allowed me to be okay with who was and to not let ANYONE take way my fabulous light! and also the movie MILK helped me be okay with am too. Anyways fast forwarding a little bit to NOW i am totally okay with am and i love life and everyone in my life and SO lucky to have such a Fabulous Family and Fabulous Friends who are totally supportive of me and always on my side no matter what. and plus i had my 1st date not too long go i see that things are going to look up for me since well god is with me through all it all. and another thing my friends at Church have been totally supportive of me and i remember being SO afraid to lose them if they ever found out and my friend KL told me "i knew all long" and she was totally cool with and so was everyone eles that i know at my church who are some of the greatest human beings i know! they are VERY FABULOUS!!!!!!
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