My Story

In Honor of National Coming Out Day, i want to tell my personal story,My name is JRS am 21 years old and i come from a Very strong Christian Family with whom i love very much and i always thought i knew who i was i mean was the kid who dance around the house to the Pointer Sisters and singing with every single Song on the tape, and also the little mermaid and beaches you name it i sang along with it and i well once i got to about age 8 i thought something was not right i mean i felt i was not fitting in with people b/c i didn't like the same things and i was still listening to the little mermaid when all my other friends were listening to like Britney Spears and other music like that and i thought oh well its not big deal i like diffrent music so what its cool well i was hidding the fact that i thought i was gay since well it i thought it totally impossible i mean it couldn't be possible at least i so i thought so i made myself believe it was NOT TRUE so i lied to self and moved on with my life. Well fast forward to middle school where i went to a school that was REALLY unfit for me i mean i enjoyed my 1st two years i mean i had good friends who i felt i could get a long with and things totally fell part my 3rd year when i was picked on all the time and made fun of for everything that i said and did it totally put me in the dark where i felt worthless and it hurt me really bad so i ended up leaving that school for personal reasons and i finally realized after writing in my jounral every day about my time at the school and how i had such a hard time there i remember thinking OH My GOSH i am GAY and am really happy but i can't tell my family about it its going to really hurt them so i can't say anything to them about it so i kept from my family and my friends for 2years from age 14 to age 16 and it was very hard for me to keep something like this from my family since well i was so upset about it and i didn't want them to be mad at me or upset with me or i feel like i let them down but i knew in time they would understand. So the fall of my 10th Grade year of high school i knew it was time for me to tell my parents and so one day i had a talk with my parents which was one of the HARDEST TALKS i ever had with my parents and well i said "mom and dad i have something to tell you am gay and so sorry i waited so long to tell you its just that i didn't want to let you down or anything and i need time to deal with it 1st before i told you" and they didn't say thing at 1st but finally my parents said We love you and we totally support you and we are happy for you and it just made me feel so happy to finally tell them, than that same day i texted my three cousins who live in RC and my older sisters and they were totally understanding and i told them that they couldn't tell anyone but little did i know that my family talks lol. and i was at one point my 11th Grade year of high school, i had made a CD for a Guy that i liked and well he broke the CD right in front of me and i was really upset and came home that nite and wrote an email stating that i the world would be better off with out me which i was wrong to say that since it was not true at all i was just angry at what had happend to me but i would have gone that far with it. Also during my years in high school there was this show that i watched called Queer as Folk that was about gay men living in Pittsburg and there was this one character that stood out to me b.c he reminded me of me in so many ways the character's name was named JT and the show was about his coming out to his parents and his friends and it was bullyed at school and well it totally hit home for me and well this show really helped me understand me a whole lot better and allowed me to be okay with who was and to not let ANYONE take way my fabulous light! and also the movie MILK helped me be okay with am too. Anyways fast forwarding a little bit to NOW i am totally okay with am and i love life and everyone in my life and SO lucky to have such a Fabulous Family and Fabulous Friends who are totally supportive of me and always on my side no matter what. and plus i had my 1st date not too long go i see that things are going to look up for me since well god is with me through all it all. and another thing my friends at Church have been totally supportive of me and i remember being SO afraid to lose them if they ever found out and my friend KL told me "i knew all long" and she was totally cool with and so was everyone eles that i know at my church who are some of the greatest human beings i know! they are VERY FABULOUS!!!!!!

16years!

For 16years, i have had one of the best friends ANYONE could ever ask for she is amazing in every way possible she makes me smile more anyone eles i know and she brings out this light in me that no one eles sees that much. She is truely one of my favorite people in this world and i feel truly blessed to have her in my life. One of my favorite moments with RW would have to be when i was in high school and it had been years between Elementary and Jr High school well my 1st day of high school i remember walking in the door and she just stoped and looked at me and was like"your so tall" and i remember just wanting to laugh b/c well i finally found her again since it been so long since i've long since her. Well anyways fast forward to 2010 and we each other a whole lot more she is simply one of sweetest people i know and she will be important to me no matter what. She is amazing and fabulous and always there for me when i need her. so i really feel lucky to have her in my life since well i always thank god for her everyday and think how lucky i am to be friends with someone that long. our friendship is like the song "its A Wonderful World b/c she really makes my life more WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is amazing in everyway. RW I LOVE U!

California!

This Weekend i got to travel to one of my favorite places ever expect this time i got to visit my sister KS who lives in BCA! i had such a fabulous time i got to do many things i flow in on Thursday nite and came into to OKCA which when i got there i jumped up and down i was so happy to be In Cailfornia i was on top of the world!. I did the tour de fat in SF which was SOOO much fun i was so glad to do it in a fabulous city like SF so many laughs that day and also that nite i went to see VW which such a BLAST best show ever!!!!!!!!!!! it was filled with people and they were singing along with the songs which was cool and the band was fabulous and it was a soled out show i think at least it looked that way! it was outside and it was amazingly fabulous!

I really enjoyed hangout with my SISTER! and going to SF was amazing and also seeing BCA was really fun its such a great little town and also going to school with KS was really something learning more about god and noah's ark story is even better now that i actually understand it better than i did before. I really enjoyed it! also my sister has some really great friends who i thought were really great! they really fabulous people all of them no questions about it hands down they are fabulous! I really think she is lucky to have them in her life! I really am so happy that i came TO CA i really want to move CA someday in the future since well i really love it here! and plus it would a nice change from CO not that i don't love CO b/c i do! but am at a age where change is good! but i couldn't leave my job its too amazing although i could find something really fabulous! I had so many one liners that i can't believe half things i said. I will say this though SF guys really know how to dress i am just sayin! I am ready to come back TO FTCO but i think i see myself in CA!!!!

My highlight would have to be eatting Ice Cream at GD and also VW was really fun! overall it was the best Vacation EVER!! I have my sister to thank for everything without her none of this would have happend! now its back to my real life which will be kinda nice for a bit than i will want to leave again lol

Two Of A Kind!

We all have our jobs and the people we work with right well i have this friend that i work with who is CNA and she is leaving to do nursing and her name is LD! She is one of my favorite people at my job, she brings out the best in me and i think to some point that i bring out the best in her she and i met over a year a ago, on the stairway by the front lobby kinda of a funny story for a openning of a TV show or something,anyways she and i over a CRUSH I had over a another guy that our job and she came up to me and was Ok tell me the truth why is your face SO RED and i told her why and we came best friend ever since, and has brought A TON of Fabulous Joy into my life and she is the reason my nickname is "Sunshine" She and i are like Will and Grace or even better Carrie and Stanfard from Sex and The City lol. LD is my best friend she makes me laugh and smile all at the same time no question asked and i am really going to miss her a lot she is simply fabulous! and i wish her the best in life! One of my favorite memories of LD would have to be when i thought her the Bend and Snap which i hate to say it WORKS EVERY TIME anyways we were both laughing so hard i thought we are going to fall over at the same time, and i sure hope that she never forgets me since well i am never going to forget her at all she will always have a place in my heart no matter what!. I really think that she is going to make a fabulous nurse someday after all she is fabulous beyond words!

She is amazing and fabulous and funny and she is reason i LOVE going to work all the time she makes SO much better!

WE ARE FAMILY!

Nothing is more important to me than FAMILY! and one person really stands out and she is my grandmother who has thought me that i need to be brave in the world and to always let my light shine which sometimes can be really hard mainly since she is not doing too well right now, I keep having flashbacks to when i ended JR High and i was really scared about going to High School b/c i was miss treated in Jr high by a lot of people and my grandmother and i had such a nice talk about how everything is going to be fine and that i had nothing to werry about and she was right on about that b/c high school turned out to be really amazing for me, she is someone that i LOVED talking too about just about anything and i loved visiting with her when i got the chance to go visit BMA! Another really special time i had with my grandmother was in 2005 when my young brother was in the Hospital in RI and she and i were sitting outside the RH and we talked about what classes i was taking since i was high school and she wanted to know what i was taking and we talked about my friends i just remember feeling really happy to be her during that HARD time. and she would always say how close me and my cousin are and how happy it made her to see us together, which now i can see why. My Grandmother always had Faith in me and i always had Faith in her. Another special thing my grandmother would do is every year on my birthday she would call me up on the phone and singing to me Happy Birthday and than tell me how much i make her feel OLD i always enjoyed that and i will always remember it.

I love my Grandmother she is my HERO! and i love her with all my heart!

P8

Just this past week, CA finally re passed the law of Same Sex Marrage and i just think that is amazing in so many ways, bc well if you ask me they should not taken it way i mean if you really think that everyone should be able to get marred no matter what whatever you are gay or not it should not matter, i was telling my M that i will be like 80years old when they finally pass a same sex marrage law in CO and i have wanted it since i was 10years old, but CO is not with the program just yet. So mainly i feel that if i were king of the world i would make it that everyone could marred anywhere they wanted too without question but i feel its going to be a long time before that happens anywhere!

Summer!

This summer has been very much amazing, i would not change a thing expect for maybe visiting my cousin on the east cost b/c i really wanted to see her this summer and i have not seen her since my birthday but oh well. I have really enjoyed this summer i have seen alot of fabulous movies and have watched lot of Queer as Folk since well i have all the seasons expect the last one! and i have gotton too hang with some of my all time favorite people so thats been fun. I feel that every summer it just goes by super super fast that might have to do with age lol. I may never know. I just wish had more time to enjoy summer before its goes away for the year. My favorite moment this summer was hangout with my friend BH and drinking coffee and talking about life and just being able to hangout it was really nice to hangout with her she is such a amazing person. So really i owe her being such a fabulous friend!