National coming out day 2015

Today is national coming out day, it's a safe day for GLBTQ people of any age. For me I didn't really have a coming out day .Instead I had a coming out process, which was very hard process.  I had limited resources to really know how to come out or what gay meant. I remember watching two different TV shows: one being Will & Grace where you had Will an openly gay lawyer living in New York and his group of fabulous friends. and another show was Queer as Folk that was about a group of openly gay friends living in Pittsburgh.
These shows were very important to me because it showed gay in an positive light. This predates the It Gets Better  project.
Overall my progress of coming out was a very positive one a lot of love and support from my family and friends.
I believe that the It Gets Better project needs to continue to make a difference for GLBTQ people who don't have support or are still in the closet, they need to have a positive outlet to feel supported and loved for who they are no matter what.

2013

 2013 has quiet a year! so much fabulousness has happened as far as i can tell even thought it's had it's ups and downs at the same time. I lost my job in january that was a major down for me although with time i've come to realized that there's nothing i can do to change it. I just applied for more and more jobs that i can get my hands on. On a brighter note Civil Unions Passed in Colorado March 21st 2013 i got see the bill get signed i understand its a small step into a bright future for the GLBT community and all people. I feel very blessed to have the family that i have who are accepting and fabulous! Growing up in Colorado for so long i think for the 1st time in my whole life i come to understand that things are changing for the better it just takes a whole of  a lot of time. 

So basically i'm ready for more history to be made in COLORADO! 

Spring!

 I LOVE SPRING! It's a time for fresh starts,anything is possible and nothing can get in my way of making a new start in life! My goal for spring is the following... 1. To keep eatting better so that i can lose weight and also to work out a lot more than i do so that i looked toned or least try to look it. 2. be kinder to people to not be as sassy as i am. 3.Stop trying to focus my time on boys i have more important things do with my time like focus on me for a little bit. 4.Make new friends in a area where i feel safe and accepted as me. A few weeks ago i went to a free from dance class that i felt changed my life in ways i never thought possible it opened my eyes and made me realize that i can do anything if i believe in me a little bit more. I was watching Glee Thursday and i when Kurt and Blanie were singing Come What May it made me think that someday i will find someone to make me truely happy and i can't wait to give them my heart. I kinda met someone but i messed it up b/c i never saw him but i'm working on it he is someone that i could see myself marrying or least dating he is so much like me. 


Well that's another whole story right there. I'm still looking for a new job and hoping that something happens with it. I just hate having nothing to do its killing me so much i've lost touch with myself i just hope that i find myself again which i'm starting too to say the least. I know that change is coming. I was watching Glee season 2 and crying soo silly right! Well i'm praying that something good happens to me i need something good to happen. I could use it! 

happeniss

I feel soo very happy in a way i never felt in a long time, or least in the last few years. i guess i needed find my true happniess i truely believe that i found it in ways i never felt possible! so one way is that i join a great group at CSU where i felt accepted and not judged in way. in the meetings i went to i felt like i belonged where as before i didn't feel l belonged anywhere in the world. so it's nice to feel accepted in a safe place where i can be myself.!

Best Year of my life Hands down.

This has been the best year of my life for many reasons, one being Camp and the other being CSU SQGLBT and Lutheran Campus Minitary. I'm getting ahead of myself a little bit lets go back to the start of 2011.... when this year started i knew i wanted to do something that would change my life or just make it better in someway b/c i was having a hard time at work and just not very happy at all. So in about March i got a facebook message from a family friend asking me if i wanted to work at camp over the summer in MN i was a little bit like no thank you but i applied and sure enough i was thinking i wont get the job its no big deal i will have another colorado summer. I think god had other plans for me i guess! I got a phone call from MN about going to Camp for the summer i couldn't believe it but i was over joyed to go to camp i couldn't wait!.

So Than in June i was ahead to MN till Aug! i was scared to death i didn't know anyone or even if people were going to like me or think i was a freak or something so i arrive to Camp Vermillion a few days before staff training and so i got to visit with the family friends that used to live in CO and i remember telling them how scared i was and how i was afraid that i wasnt going to fit in at all. Well they were like you will be fine and that people would love me no matter what. So Staff Traning started that saturday afternoon where we had worship service with everyone on site and i remember 1st meting this guy named KE who i liked right way b/c he had the same name as my younger brother back home. He was really cool and i also met JY she was soo fabulous i really enjoyed her. I felt right than and there that i was going to fit in just fine and that i no werries or anything it was going to be the best summer of my life!

I really enjoyed my summer in MN i made soo life long friends who i think are just fabulous and wonderful and i cried leaving going back to CO i didn't want to leave. When i returned from my summer i knew my life need a makeover right way so i started getting in involved in as much i could so i started going to Lamada meetings downtown for a bit and didn't get a good feel for it so i stoped going than in OCT i went to a Drag show hosted by CSU and it was amazing and fun and very classy or maybe thats not the right word for it. anyways i started talking to people afterwards they were really nice people i knew that i had to go a meeting at CSU that following week so i did and sure enough i was scared a little bit but it was fine in the end i made so cool friends and just loved it. also that same week i went to my 1st church service at CSU and loved it and made so fabulous friends.

I feel very blessed and thankful for this year and it will always be a part of me since i totally did things i never would done in years pasted. My goal for 2012 is still be a part of CSU and to well i say this every single year but it never gets old.. I hope to met someone fabulous but i don't want to get my hopes up for nothing one step at time. I know that 2012 will be fabulous if i allow it to be. I'm going to travel to New York at somepoint since i've never been there always wanted to go. I feel that anything is possible now its a new year and anything can happen! So i keep it fabulous and always look ahead no matter what. and i will be just fine.

Summer part 2

I'm still having a fabulous time at camp, enjoying every min of it and i've made soo many friends on staff and i think they are just amazing the 4th of july was amazing it was great to hangout with a great friend of mine she and i had soo many adventures around everywhere such as Duluth and the Twin Cites it was all wroth it in soo many ways at least it was to me. I really feel that i'm finally fitting in with the staff here my fears of not being able to fit in are totally gone!. Last Friday we had our Staff Meeting on the Water it was really nice to all be together having a moment just as Site Staff very fun enjoying the sun and all the people around me. And this weekend alone has been just great being able to hangout at Camp V with everyone that i just Love to pieces and never questioning what i do need to do or anything like that. is super nice. Plus my sister arrived on Site today got to pick her up at the airport and see her bright face and she is ready to get working.

Tonight i was hangout on the dock watching the Stars and just having a moment alone it was soo nice to just have a moment with god without anyone around me just chillin and than being joined by all my friends during my moment which add on to it. I've totally felt that the staff is really great full of great people with goes out say in every possible. and also i really enjoyed hangout eatting ice cream and laughing and talking about funny moments. its moment like that i will always remember.

I still have a tinny crush on one of the staff members but that is NOT at al important at all its something that i could care less about. I really excited for Harry Potter its going to be Fabulous we are having Harry Potter Week at Camp Vermillion so that could be fun since well harry potter is simply amazing in every way!..... Basically i love Camp soo much i really i'm going to miss it when i leave it.

God's Great Northwoods!

This Summer I'm not in Colorado i applied for a camp job! at Camp Vermillion in GOD's GREAT NORTHWOODS! and I just had my Staff Training where i met some very cool people who have become like "family" they are simply great! I'm learning so much about how god is present in each of our journey's of faith and i feel that in My Journey God is really now showing me that i'm just getting started and about to make a diffrence in someone life this summer as i begin to work in the Kichen at Camp. One of the 1st songs that i listened to on my way here was "Blessed Be Your Name by Tree63 it totally fit how i was feeling at the time when i left Colorado making me understand that This Summer will be a blessing and that i find myself truely blessed.

One of my highlights so far was doing this silent days where you could not talk to anyone around you it was just you and god one on one and i went for a walk on this road where i just prayed every mile of my walk for each person in my life in colorado and i came back to camp and sat by the lake and just looked out at the water and it begin to rain pretty hard and i started dancing in the rain feeling so happy and joyful as anyone would when it rains and this HUGE Raindow comes out and i just stop and look for like 45mins and it was that moment that i knew GOd had a reason for sending me to camp this summer and that reason is yet to be fortold to me and i can't wait to see what God has planned for me.

I'm really enjoying myself up here i'm just loving it more and more each day that i'm up here when i worked at Sky Ranch i would walk the Prayer Trail every morning to kichen and pray for each member of my family well they don't have a prayer trail at Camp Vermillion so i walk on the Dock and Pray for each member of my family and all my friends so its even better b/c its early in the morning and the water is so quiet but the sun will come up and make it SHINE!. Every nite of Staff Training we would have a Camp Fire Worship and would singing some pretty cool songs that would get you moving and my new favorite is Racial God! and so last nite the Whole staff went to a Fair in another town about 20mins away and Danced in the Street which was blocked off and did the moves for the song and we just totally enjoyed it. they played jessie Girl,Footloose,Born to be Wild, Spirit in The Sky, Drift Away, and many many others so would just do ramdom Dances and it was just one of these nites where i had wished all my friends were there with me dnacing along with. When they played Footloose i had a Flashback to my 21st where one of the places i went they played that song i got really into it and i had my dance moves small but last night NO one was making there dance moves small! so it was perfect.

During one of the Morning Mai's which morning worship at camp it was the morning of the NO talking and i couldn't find anyone and i finally found people sitting down the hillside and i started running and I fell the whole way down the hill and no one could laugh b/c they thought it was really funny and so did I, than that afternoon we played a group game called"who done it" basically the murder game" and the way i got out was falling down a hill lol" basically the staff seem to like me b/c it was the talk of the day.

So this summer is going to be filled with adventure and laughs and finding out what god has planned for me in my upcoming days! so like we say every worship" IT's GREAT TO BE ALIVE IN GOD's GREAT NORTHWOODS!